Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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