I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
