3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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