Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
