you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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