what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
