that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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