he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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