The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
