meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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