yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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