I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
