having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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