So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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