Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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