Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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