Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize