pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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