Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
