well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
