Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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