Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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