Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
