Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
