never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
