I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
