ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
