if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
