So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
