do herpes really smell.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
