i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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