I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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