She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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