If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
