Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
