hell yes lets make some ravioli
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
