How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
