Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
