No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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