omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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