i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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