She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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