I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
