I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize