Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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