I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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