hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
