Your face is a jimmy john
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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