but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
