if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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