Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
