You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just found puke in my bra..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize