He asked to "fluff my boner.."
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
