i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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