Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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