Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
