oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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