she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
