And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
